SITTING IN JUDGEMENT



This post pertains to my earlier one where I had shared my problems of being a minority –a  resident of an independent house in a neighborhood composed predominantly of flat complexes and belonging to a mixed religious family in a upper caste neighborhood. I had given vent to my frustrations about being unable to solve some of the civic problems surrounding my existence here. 

As is my usual practice, I had posted it on various forums – one of them being the Chennai Bloggers Club of which I am a new member. 

I was quite open to critical comments because I had ,after all brought up something about a city that people from here would  be ready to defend. I was not wrong. I got a lot of interesting comments from suggestions about owning dogs to frighten away unpleasant people to those who also pointed out that prejudice is not limited to Tam Brahms but also  exhibited by other communities. There were those who empathized and those who were non committal. But overall, it was not something that I was not prepared for. 

But what shocked me was a comment from one person. His words were really vicious and judgemental. He told me to put myself in my neighbor’s shoes-that cars cost a lot of  money and if they complained they had the right to do so. Agree but they are complaining about something that I can do nothing about!
And then he made a really nasty comment  which I am pasting below 

The problem in Chennai is from root level, people like you have been well off from those days and what your see in the new generation is "pudthu panakaran". They have worst attitude problems than you.”

I still cannot get over the anger and hatred that is simmering here. This person has not defended his city but made some really judgmental comments about me  and my family. He has assumed that as an independent home owner I consider myself superior to those who live in the apartment complexes around my house. While I responded to him explaining that ownership of an independent property is no longer a symbol of wealth I am still not past the shock!

I realize now how people like Mr. Mody build their constituency! Such constituency is built on hatred like this-hatred against minorities ( I am presenting myself as a religious as well as a residential minority) for perceived comfort and wealth! 

I think I may be very naïve but my understanding about why people blog is to share personal experiences, raise issues and create a forum for a healthy debate on things that they believe or do not believe in. I guess I have been very lucky about the people who have  commented on my blog until now. We have had serious arguments about many issues but nothing was personal. We argued about what we believed in and I have enjoyed them and admired some of those who argued. They continue to comment on my blog and I visit theirs. 

But what surprises me is that someone should do this in a forum for bloggers and get away with it! When we write or blog we do more than express ourselves. We connect with people. Giving vent to hatred like this is not the best way forward in terms of establishing and retaining connections. I wonder if I should bring this comment to the notice of the site administrators of CBC? But I am not very sure that they can do anything- afterall it is a free country. As a nation most of us do not know what is meant by freedom and this person who made that awful comment is just a strong case to the point. 

If he thinks that he is defending his city by attacking me he is mistaken. It has only strengthened my negative attitude towards the city!!



Comments

  1. We cannot avoid these kinds of unjust and vicious comments. Just ignore. Sooriyana parthu naai kulaikiradhu.

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  2. People will say the craziest things over the internet when they think they are being anonymous, and people tend to comment more negatively, rather than saying "they agree" etc. Don't take it personally, they may be insane...lol! I can relate too, I don't like the personal attacks as well, but it just shows their character, not yours.

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  3. I cannot advise patience and ignoring such outbursts and attitude because I myself may not always take such nonsense lying low.

    But then does it take us forward when we react to such morons? On the contrary if we do not react wont these changelings and philistines be emboldened?

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  4. I agree SG that the best thing is the ignore such comments but sometimes as Anil says if we ignore such people they continue with such behavior. BTW I wrote to the site administrator and she was very nice about it and has told me that she will have a word with him. So there!!!

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  5. There are such breeds of people everywhere. I would just suggest you ignore him - delete his comment from your blog if you wish - and just move on...

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  6. Hi Divya,
    There are lots of stupid stuff that I get as comments to my blog posts. I generally delete them. But this was on a FB page for the Chennai bloggers. As I am not the site administrator I cannot delete comments. Anyway as I have mentioned in a previous comment the administrator was kind enough to respond to my complaint and has said that she would write to this person.
    She had also said that he probably did not mean what he said. If it is a case of poor communication then something needs to be done about it. I have suggested to CBC that they could consider training bloggers on better communication skills and if they require someone to assist them in this I was more than willing!!!

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  7. I cant understand how such people can pass such comments. People will be nonchalant as long as they are they are not concerned/involved. If it is someone you know, I would suggest you settle it straight with them. If it is someone whom you are not familiar with, I would say please ignore (though I know it is very difficult) and dont let those words aggravate your already, justified anger. Coz some people have this sadistic pleasure and they are best ignored. Sorry to hear about this Meera.

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  8. Hi Ashwini, Thankfully it is not anyone I know! It was a member of CBC who passed that comment when I posted a link to this ! As you say difficult to ignore! I guess I have been lucky that it took four years of blogging to get a comment like this! Many people get them every day. Fortunately, on a blog you can just delete such comments. But on a facebook discussion page it is not so easy. You can see the discussion thread on the CBC page as you are also a member!

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