Sunday, January 23, 2011

Counting my blessings.

As I turn forty three today, I look back at my life -! When I was in my teens I used to think that forty and above referred to really "old" people. Twenty was the age that I wanted to be- the age by which I was sure I would have been done with education, would have a job and be ready to be my own person in this world. So there I was in my twenties and life still seemed to have a lot of unfinihsed things to deal with- for e.g a job that I would love to have, a nice man to marry etc etc. The twenties came to their end with me meeting my own version of Lochinvar ( "Daring in Love and Dauntless in War..."). Then came the thirties and motherhood- problems with paediatricians and schools. The job scene was still not ok. By the end of the thirties I found what I thought  was my "dream job" and got ready to face the forties. Now that I am in the beginning of forties I am looking forward to life with optimism.

I think back of the blessings that have helped make all this possible. The wonderful parents ( after all this is as much their day as it is mine) who beleived in me . Those evenings when my father would return home from office with a severe bout of asthma and still sit down to work out  sums on Archimedes Principle with me ..! His gentle reprimands to get me to clean my cupboard ( my "treasure island" as he used to refer to it). His acceptance of the fact that his daugther was not going to be an engineer like him. But supporting me in all my decisions - including the controversial ones relating to the shift from a post graduate degree in soil chemistry to social work and the decision to marry a man from another religion. My mother quietly supporting  with her wisdom and practicality the "do-able" things and steering both Appa and me  away from the  wild ideas that  we used to sometimes think of. I remember fondly birthdays when Amma used to cook up a storm- Puri and Aloo Dum to feed a platoon of hungry school girls.

I dont know what I was expecting from marriage- initially probably a Mills and Boon Story but slowly coming to terms with what real life was all about. Another blessing that I have been given-a really good friend in the form of  a husband. It is rare to find a man who is not threatend by his wife and who is actually proud of her achievements. Probably one of the reasons why we are able to co exisist very compatibly as two individuals following two different religions. I also thank my stars that unlike many women I dont have to look my best or behave in a coquettish manner with him to "keep him interested". I am amazed at some of things that I can tell him without shocking him- thoughts that I never  acknowledged even within my own mind!


Somehow I seem to slot my sister and daugther in the same category. I often confuse their names.. But seriously, I think I am really lucky to have them both. Glad that I dont have to indulge in "one upman ship" that sisters often seem to do. It is amazing how she has turned from that pesky little pest into a good friend!
My daugther ofcourse is my dream and my hope..! So far I think we have done the right things-she is shaping out to be a good human being. I thank god for the unselfish love that she has for us -this at a time when children manipulate parents for their own ends. Her moods as a teenager can be frustrating but I know it will pass...!!  I love the way both these girls bond with each other- so I know that if and when I am gone she has another part of me to act as her mother...!

Then ofcourse are my friends.. there are so many of them. They are my treasures! Starting from Tiklu ( my first and best friend who sadly is not in this world today) to all those girls at STS and all the others...  I have learnt so much from all of them!

Finally there are all the others who have touched my life in so many different ways. My inalws for instance. Another blessing ! In a world where most women face problems with their inlaws I think I have cordial relations with most of them.  I spent almost as many years with my mother in law as with my mother.. My days with my mother were spent less with her as with myself and my friends as those were my growing years but those with my mother in law were spent more with her in the sense that I was older , at home and had the time to talk to her.. !

I know I complain often about the various little problems that I have - my inability to deal with the stress of day today existence sometimes- fights with auto drivers, trouble with maids, frustration about my daugther's lack of interest in improving her math scores, office work that spills into my home life..... They overwhelm me and I sometimes think I probably have the most miserable existence! But I know I am a very blessed person. There are many who would give an arm and a leg for a family like mine, friends like those I have and a job like the one I do !




7 comments:

Deepa said...

Haffy Burrrdddaay!! Glad to know you still consider me a 'gurl' - am pushing forty and the spectre looms large a few years hence. :))

Heavenly Muse said...

life is full of blessings but sometimes they in camouflaged way.:-)

meerasrajan said...

@ Heavenly muse- very rightly said! It is often said that God acts through others...

@ Deepa a younger sister is always a "girl"

anindita said...

A very nice post. Loved reading it and am now counting my blessings too. Waiting for more posts from your side..

Bikramjit said...

Wishing you a very veyry happy BIrthday and many happy returns of the day ...

they say life starts at 40 so you only 3 years into it ... :)

and yes life is full of blessing and heres wishing you tons and tons more of blesssings :)

Bikram's

Christopher said...

To be blessed in many ways is one thing. To be able to recognize the blessings is quite another. You listed your blessings so well. Wishing you many more blessings in the years to come Meera.

Having a colleague and a friend like you is also a blessing for us.

meerasrajan said...

Thank you all for your wishes..!

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