Last week one of my colleagues accused me of "having lost my passion". He told me that he now sees me "just doing my job". I have been reflecting ever since on that..
I go back in time to my student days when "passion" was my problem. I was told to remain "emotionally detached" by one of my professors.
I wonder what has happened to me within the one and a half decades of work in the development sector?
One of the answers that I can think of is that over the years one goes from being an individual who is working for change to being an employee of an organization that specializes in the change business. Though organizations like these are supposedly driven by a collectivisation of passion for change it is very rarely the case.. these are organizations just like others and over the years people's dreams of social change begin to include in them dreams of individual achievements. Not something to be ashamed of - we are afterall not Mother Teresa. We work as paid employees in an organization.
But I realize that passion is probably a premium that is very much in demand.. Organizations view such passionate people as the adrenalin that keeps them on a high. But the problem is that passion is not something that is in unlimited supply. It is something that has to be kept alive. Each of us goes through different life experiences and often the passion runs out. Human failings keep cropping up - afterall even true love comes with blemishes like jelousy.
So the question is should someone be blamed for the loss of passion?
And anyway what is wrong with doing "one's job"? After all in India we celebrate the performance of one's duty- "Kartavya Palan"!!! We can then save the passion for something or someone that we really love.. organizations are unfortunately not so -they are self perpetuating.
But that brings us back of the issue of the loss of my passion -
I would like to say that passion for issues does not die out but passion for work on those issues along the lines of organizational deliverables may rise or fall depending on the extent of motivation. That folks is not an individual failing but probably an organizational one.... !!!