It
does not seem like the news is complete these days without at least
one rape being reported! Whether it is a
newspaper that you open or a TV channel that you switch on, this kind of news chills your spine!!
My
first memory of reading a news article about rape was in a magazine called “
SUNDAY” in the eighties. The story was
about a woman called Maya Tyagi who was brutally raped by policemen inside a
police station. I could not understand
much about it except for the fact that some brutality had been committed on a
woman by people who were supposed to be law enforcers!! Subsequently, or may be around the same time I
read about another such incident, this time against a lady called Mathura. By the time I was in the Xth standard I had
formed a fairly good idea about what these crimes involved and that the process
of seeking justice against them was about as awful as the crime itself!!!
While
three decades later there have been a lot of progressive legislation around
rape ( like protecting the identity of the victim and having the onus on the perpetrator to prove his innocence) the crime itself does not seem to have
stopped! Looking at the number of cases that we read about every day I wonder if the cases have
actually increased over time. But I am inclined to think that probably not!
What has improved is obviously the reporting of such cases. I would like to think of that as the one
positive change in terms of attitude towards the crime. Victims and their families today see it as a
crime that has been committed against them and not “dishonor”- the word “izzat loot liya” ( dishonored) does not thankfully
figure in Bollywood flicks today!! Neither does the word “Karpu azhipu” ( erasing the chastity) form part of the Tamil film scenario! The word
“Balatkar” , which is the actual word
signifying rape is being used.
But
despite these few steps forward with regard to the social attitudes around
the crime some of the other attitudes
continue to remain. I was dismayed to
hear ministers in two of our states issue statements like “Sometimes rape is
justified” or “ Rape is unplanned and
happens suddenly”!!
I realize now that
as long as there are attitudes like these, rape laws will never be applied
stringently and there will be zero conviction. And with that kind of reality can
we expect any reduction in the incidence of the crime?
My
mind cannot remove images of the bodies of two young girls strung up on a tree
in a village in Uttar Pradesh after they were raped!! I think that is probably
one of the most brutal things that could be done to anyone!! It is reminiscent of the
incidents that used to happen in the Southern part of the US during the days of
segregation.
One
of the important factors that we need to understand with regard to a crime like
rape is that though it is viewed as a sexual offence, it is in reality an
assertion of power of one individual over another. Sexual violation of a woman
is a demonstration of power, not just against the woman herself but for
everything that she symbolizes. For example, after a war a victorious army
would rape all the women of the defeated along with looting their houses and
destroying the buildings around their cities / villages. To the victor the
women were nothing but objects over which they wanted to show their ownership. The
same interpretation can be used to explain such crimes that happen during communal
riots. The UP crime was also something similar. It was a way for a group of
people to assert their power over another group. It was a warning, a threat to
a community that they had better be careful!!
While
this assertion of power is easier to understand when it comes to rapes that occur around areas that have a
history of such clashes, people often do not understand rapes that happen in an
isolated manner. Let us take for example the Nirbhaya case in Delhi. Here was a girl who was travelling with her
friend after watching a movie and was raped by a group of men inside a moving
bus. Do you honestly think they were sexually deprived and therefore attacked
her ? I would say that this was also
about assertion of power!! The background of all these men suggests that they
came from poor households and were working as laborers. To them a girl from a
middle class household was a symbol of a
social class that was more privileged that they were. So how do you take out
your anger against that class? By sexually attacking the women from that
class. The sexual violation of a woman often gives men who have serious
confidence problems about their own abilities a sense of power. A man who rapes
a woman by way laying in a deserted area is doing nothing but demonstrating to
himself and to his victim that he is powerful. It is also the reason why a
person familiar to a woman rapes her. It is because his ego is hurt when she
says “No” and turns down his sexual advances!! It is pathetic but this is the basic psyche
around men who rape!
Given
the fact that rape is all about demonstration of power, can we really buy the
arguments made by some crazy people that it can sometimes be justified? Believe
me, no man rapes a woman because he is sexually aroused by her dress or her
behavior. The way a woman dresses or behaves makes a man form some impressions
about her. And these impressions again depend on his own background. To a man
from a conservative rural background, a girl in jeans and a T shirt is “sexually
promiscuous” and he wants to “put her in her place” by showing her that she, as
a woman should keep her sexuality under restraint.
Rape can never justified! Even a sex worker has the right to say “No”!!
Just because she is selling sex does not mean that she can be violated. She
trades in sex on her terms and if those terms are not acceptable to a man, he
has no business to forcibly make her have sex with him!! It is the equivalent
of vandalizing a shop rather than paying for a product across the counter. It
is no excuse to say that it is alright because the woman was of “questionable character”.
I
firmly believe that unless we address the attitude around rape we will never be
able to stop the crime. As long as people believe that women invite it upon
themselves rape will continue to be seen as an expression of machismo by men
with high libidos.
A
rapist is a pathetic individual!!! His sense of power does not come from his
anything constructive. He rapes because
his self image may be so low that any form of refusal to cater to his demands
may not go down well with him. Or he may have such an inflated ego that he
cannot take no for an answer. He may belong to a caste or a community that is
unable to come to terms with progress and development that may be happening and
so he uses the most primitive weapons of all to keep the feudal power structure
going. Or his sense of what a woman is, may be so narrow that he cannot see
beyond her sexual parts. Is it any surprise that he gets a lot of “nos” when he
approaches a woman?
I
wish we would understand that rape cannot be prevented by women wearing a hijab
, burqa , using toilets or coming home before sundown. Rape will be there as
long as there are men with the rapist mental profile around and as long as
there are social attitudes that justify their actions!!
Very nice post. I have been saying for a long time rape is not a sexual encounter by a man towards a woman. Rape is all about demonstration of his power over her. It is brutal and it must be stopped.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I agree that no man rapes a woman because he is sexually aroused by her dress or her behavior. When rape happens, all women will put up a ferocious fight with the rapist. During the melee this guy’s “arouseness” would have subsided. So it is not just sexual arousal. There should be speedy trial and the rapist should be given the maximum sentence.
Rape is unplanned and happens suddenly. Sometimes it is justified. I want to write about a real life incident in USA. A school boy was bullied by his class mate. The mother of the boy complained to the Principal in the parents’ meeting. The Principal said your son happens to be in front of the bully and there is nothing I can do about it. The mother gave a huge hard slap in the cheek to the Principal in front of all parents. She said: I am angry now and you happen to stand in front of me. There is nothing I can do about it.
you have clearly put things in perspective, but how to drill it into people's head.. You know these days I am just so tired to talk to people.. Many people around me, the so called good people have such weird misogynist views.. How to reason with such people.. ? I am just so tired ...
ReplyDeleteBy the way is there any way to subscribe to your blog through an email ? This is so that I do not miss a single post ...
ReplyDelete@ SG your example of the bullying incident was really good!!! I wish someone had the opportunity to demonstrate it similarly to some authorities here.
ReplyDelete@ Simple girl don't bother reasoning with people with closed minds. It will leave you frustrated. I am happy that you want to read my blog regularly but I am not sure if blogger allows you to subscribe to an blog via email. Let me just check and let you know.
just the mere thought of JUSTIFICATION makes one wrong.. how can one think of it ..
ReplyDeletePEOPLE.. EVERYONE needs to know it is wrong.. (I know you will say everyone knows . yes they know BUT
they know its wrong as long as its happening to someone else .. but when it comes to the own family , I am saying this from the Criminals side.. When it comes to be known that is is a MALE from withing their family son-husband-brother-uncle etc etc .. that is when the same people suddenly get together to FIND a reason for the heinous crime..
THIS mentality needs changing when this happens , crime will go down for sure
Bikram
Rape is an uncontrolled animal instinct when vulnerable victims are caught in insecure places.A solution to eliminate this scourge seems well nigh difficult.I read about sizable percentage of women go in the nights to open fields/places for answering calls of nature rendering themselves as sitting ducks to the wicked on prowl.A cover across the entire country is impossible.Quick filing of complaints,fast track courts and deterrent punishment may put a scare but may not be adequate.Certain Dos and Don'ts for women like avoiding isolated places,going in groups,not taking lifts from strangers,not drinking even water except from sealed cans/bottles,complaining promptly about stalkers and advances in office and generally being alert may help.
ReplyDeleteA timely, relevant post, when I'm still reeling under the revelation by our honourable ministers that sometimes rape is justified, and right ( which in turn means now we need to think of only whether it was a 'right rape' or a 'wrong rape').
ReplyDeleteIt isn't a woman's faault that she gets raped. It's the mentality, the "I-am-powerful-to-crush-you-under-me" mentality, the "how-can-an-insect-of-a-woman-win-over-men" mentality, that's to be blamed.
Unless that changes, nothing ever would.
Btw, blogger allows you to subscribe via email. There's a tool available in the 'Gadgets' for that :)
Rightly pointed out Meera. It is 'attitude' problem, both for the offenders and for those haphazard remarks made by politicos.
ReplyDeleteWomen shouldn't nt b seen only as a Sex-Toy.... ppl should consider that She s also a Human with feelings... SEX-EDUCATION the major need of India today than any other.... not only for School children bt also fr grown ups....
ReplyDeletePages have been written about reasons that lead to rape and the perverse psyche of men etc. What more there is to add. Though I must acknowledge your anxiety and incense is a righteous reaction.
ReplyDeleteMen , I mean the rapists are cowards.Sociologists may attribute reasons such as their back ground, economic state, their past etc etc.Now can we change the mind set that raves and see women as an instrument? I do not know but until that changes such outrages will continue.
Capital punishment has not reigned in murder and will a proviso to
extend capital punishment to rapists alleviate occurrence of the deed? I do not think it will.
Rape and crime on women have been there since to the day history goes back. The difference now is communication and information explosion seemingly brings much of it into the public domain.
Rape in wedlock is more than rape by strangers.
This state cannot be bettered unless education of women and their economic empowerment happen.
BTW these clamour against common civil code and the sacredness of personal laws are against women .
Indeed the word was a taboo in the past. Today, children barely out of their teens are walking on the streets holding placards asking the government to make their lives safer.
ReplyDeleteEveryday, I come across at least half a dozen reports of rape from different parts of the country. Not all make to the paper. I don't know if the incidents have increased over the years, or women are coming out more openly now a days than in the past.
But there is no single solution. Our culture has to change. And, it's not going to happen overnight. Hopefully, the awareness drive will yield results some time in the future.
@ Vijay Prabhakar, sex education is only one of the many types of education that our men should be given!!!
ReplyDelete@ Anil, Marital rape is still not accepted by many as "rape". Not surprising when we have attitudes that justify rape by strangers. I am not so sure about the uniform civil code being anti women. I think muslim women might welcome it.
@ Pradeep Nair, yes our attitude has to change.
@ Cloud Nine, there has to be some way to address this "attitude" problem