I am not Kalki and I am not embarking on something historical. The title is a bit deceptive. So read this at your own risk!
We had planned to start out
from Pondicherry very early that morning. Our driver Partipan was not exactly happy with that huge
cup of cappuccino coffee I insisted he share with us at Le café. “What is this
madam? You are only paying for the foam. Not good for anyone” he grumbled. And then he disappeared while we were
completing the check out formalities at the hotel. I guess he was worried we might drag him to
have breakfast with us. He preferred his own spots for meals- places where the
food was more to his liking than what Hotel Surguru offered. But wherever or whatever it was that he
ate that day was obviously not something that his stomach relished.
We had just crossed Marakanam when this careful driver
suddenly started behaving like a formula one contestant. We held on to our seats as I shouted at A who
was riding “shotgun” with him to buckle up her seat belt. Poor girl, she was obviously not used to seat
belts( the streets of Kolkata , her home town have so much of traffic that one
can usually walk alongside a vehicle).
She fumbled around for the strap while I tried to instruct her from the
back seat dancing dangerously in my semi erect position …!
“ Don’t distract him A. He
needs to focus” I told her as I finally helped
her strap herself in. “ But ma’m I was not talking to him today” she protested. True.. the previous evening she had been playing
“ English Vinglish” with him with not so pleasant consequences as
he kept losing focus.
But today it was strange.
He appeared to be completely focused – actually too focused! He was not
participating in any conversation or enlightening me with details of the Tamil
movie songs that he was playing . He had
a serious look on his face as he drove on. When I told him to take the turning from Sholinganallur into the Old Mahabalipuram Road ( OMR), he did not
seem happy. I pointed to our consultant
telling him that we needed to drop her there.
As we drove on in OMR I suddenly
decided that I would go to my daughter’s school for a few minutes for her “open
day” – a day when the children present projects on various topics to
parents. The school was only a stone’s
throw away from the consultant’s house. So, I could easily get down, run in,
mark my presence while he dropped her at her house two streets away.
I don’t know if it was my
imagination but he seemed flabbergasted at the idea. “Madam, it looks like it will pour” he said. He seemed to have a far off look in his eyes
when I insisted, saying it would not take that much longer.
I usually go to the
daughter’s school from the other end of OMR.
Driving from this end was a little confusing as I made Partipan stop every now and then, starting from Navalur to
see if this was the correct turning. This genial man, almost lost his cool with
me when I did that for the third time. I wondered what was the matter.
Finally when we reached
the school, my two colleagues said that they would not be coming with me as they
were not “ dressed appropriately to enter a school” . Partipan seemed clearly unhappy when they continued
sitting in the vehicle and riding on to the consultant’s house.
But he seemed relieved when I told him
he need not drive through the bad approach road to the school to pick me up
after dropping her. I would walk up to the highway and meet him there.
Just as I had expected ,it
did not take me more than twenty minutes at the school. As I reached the
highway, I found there was no sign of
the vehicle. When I called Partipan, he told me that both the other madams had
gone into the consultant’s home at her invitation. He asked me to call and request
them to come downstairs. When I did call one of them our consultant grabbed
the phone and insisted that I come over to her house “ just for
five minutes “. So I called Partipan asking him to come over and take me
there.
The five minute ride to
her house was through extremely bumpy roads. But my charioteer seemed to be in
a much better mood and more like himself.
He spoke about the corruption that the town panchayat indulged in when
it came to road laying and followed it up with his usual litany of complaints
with all elected representatives of the government. I was happy to see the change. Obviously, it was the consultant’s presence in
the vehicle that was annoying him.
After the initial
hospitality our consultant, a typical Indian lady given to making a news out of
mere ordinary occurrences told me “ You know what happened when you were
away? Partipan wanted to go doubles and
I had to ask our watch man to give him the keys” For a moment I was puzzled. I wondered if
our driver had suddenly decided to switch from driving a Bolero to a BSA ?
Otherwise how does one explain the “doubles” ? But when I saw both the girls
giggling the tube light in my head came on and a lot of things fell into place.
As we got ready to leave, I
looked at him closely. Partipan sitting behind the steering wheel seemed to me like a man who had achieved his dream. But the
moment he saw our consultant he got into
a flurry wanting to leave. He mentioned the weather again- though not so vehemently this time. He almost did
not wait for the door to close when he changed gears and pressed his accelerator.
But Ms. N our consultant was something else. She came up to the window and
asked him to roll it down. When it was no longer possible to ignore her, he had
to do just that . She in turn peered in
asking loudly “ Did you find the key and use the toilet”? Poor guy, I think he was the most embarrassed
person in the world at that moment!
My two colleagues began
giggling again. S said “ Ma’m we did not want to go upstairs to N mam’s house but Partipan was absolutely
insistent that we go” I realized why…!
Yes, it seems like a joke
when it happens to someone else, but think about a time when it had happened to
you..There is even a Tenali Rama story along these lines where the court jester
is supposed to have told King Krishnadevaraya that finding a toilet when desperately in need is like
a dream come true. The King had thought it was sheer cheekiness to answer like
that until he was in a similar situation!
So Partipan found his
dream in an apartment complex off OMR..! It
was another thing that it became common knowledge among his passengers.
I wish I could tell him to stop feeling embarrassed about it. But I think if I
broach this topic he would dig a hole and bury himself there. So, the best
thing would be to ignore his dash towards his dreams. After all, aren’t dreams just fleeting
experiences ?
My pet peeve for many years is Indian cities do not have decent toilet facilities except a few “malls” in big cities. In Chennai, even a few modern malls have “out of order” sign in 50% of their toilet rooms. I don’t know what people would do if they have these nature’s calls while they are out of their homes. For men it is ok that there are walls. That too it is good for numero uno only. How about women?
ReplyDeleteWhen they want to copy everything from USA, why not they copy this also. In USA, every gas station (petrol bunk) must have toilet facilities for men and women. Why don’t the government enact a law similar to that so that the public have some outlet?
An amusing read told humourously
ReplyDeleteWe could laugh over the miserable fellows plight.
ReplyDeleteHappens to all at some point.
Meera,
ReplyDeleteOnly the wearer of shoe knows where it pinches. May no one be in such a situation.
Take care
Yes, SG you are right about the toilets. The entire ECR stretch is devoid of any petrol pumps or toilets. Women face more problems - I wrote a post on it long ago.
ReplyDeleteAnil, Jack both of you are right. One needs to be in the shoes of the person undergoing the agony!
@ KP glad you found it humorous
Hahaha...i loved the title and the plot too:P Good one, Meera!
ReplyDeleteHi Meera, I really felt sorry for Parthiban after reading this. The poor fellow.
ReplyDeletethis also reminded me of the time when one of our senior colleagues wanted to use the toilet in a housing complex that was being constructed post tsunami, and asked another senior colleague where the toilet was, for which the watsan expert proudly started explaining the plan of the house to be built and where the toilet would come up, much to the embarassment of the first colleague :P
Poor Parthiban's plight.It may happen with others also.
ReplyDelete